Today we need to talk about something important. Particularly all the things that you are keeping in your life that make you feel like crap. Pardon my French, but it needs to be said. Our daily lives are filled with what appears to be irrelevant things that don’t affect us much. However, these irrelevant things are not so irrelevant and small at all and they slowly chip away at our confidence. 2019 might have already started for a few weeks now, but improving your life is not just for the new year, so let’s get started.
Here are some things you should leave behind for a much happier, healthier you!
You know that friend whom you’re never quite sure just complimented you or offended you? Or the one that always flakes on you last minute, when you freed up your time to meet them? The one that is there for you until they are in a new relationship. Or the one that always shoots down your new ideas. How about the one that just plainly makes you feel bad about yourself. Lose them. Lose them, before you lose yourself. People who make you feel inferior and who make you feel like you are not enough, are not really your friends. True friends uplift you and want the best for you. They are not always perfect – neither are you. They make mistakes that might hurt you at times, but they don’t mean to and usually make you feel good. True friends are there for you when you need them, not just when it’s convenient for them. If at any point in time, you doubt a friends sincerity and you doubt whether they are truly happy for you and want the best for you, it is time to sit down and think about whether they are adding value to your life or whether they are taking away from it. If the answer is the latter, let them go and free yourself.
Social media accounts that make you feel inferior
It’s 2019, everybody and their momma is on social media. There is nothing wrong with social media. It connects you to your friends, people you admire and grumpy cat memes. That’s some of the best things in life. However, most people don’t just follow these people/ pages. Many people follow Instagram models, famous people, brands, beauty gurus, fashion icons and many more that make them feel like they are not enough. If you scroll through your feed or even worse, the explore page of Instagram, and you see young men and women posing their perfect bodies, clad in designer clothing, in front of a luxury car or mansion, it just makes you feel inferior. You don’t feel pretty enough, you’ll ask yourself what you are doing wrong with your life and why you don’t have what they have. But the truth is, you don’t know how they got there and if that is truly their life. And honestly, it doesn’t matter, because at the end of the day they make you feel bad and that’s a problem. Instead of allowing these accounts to doubt yourself, unfollow them. Your life will be much happier when you aren’t doubting yourself and the things you see on your feed are images that make you happy. And remember this, you don’t need to follow your 200 ‘friends.’ All those people you have as friends on your Facebook out of obligation, do not need to be on your Instagram feed or even your Facebook feed. You don’t need to see updates on seemingly perfect lives of people you honestly don’t give a damn about. Remove them and keep the cat memes coming!
The biggest problem of them all, talking down on yourself. Ask yourself, would you speak the way you speak to yourself to your best friend, your mother or anyone else that you care about deeply? If the answer is no, it’s time to change the way you talk to yourself. Why would you say negative, discouraging and hurtful things to and about yourself? The words that you tell yourself manifest themselves, don’t ever forget that. Your brain does not take jokes well either, so don’t joke about your weight, intelligence or beauty in a negative way. Whatever you tell yourself, your brain believes and slowly but surely whatever you say will manifest itself and become the reality you live. If you live telling yourself you’re stupid, you will stop yourself from taking challenges and opportunities, because at a certain point you have repeated it so many times, that you truly believe you’re stupid and incapable of doing certain things. And we don’t want that do we?! Instead of telling yourself that you’re not smart/ skinny/ pretty/etc. enough, tell yourself you are enough as you are. Everything about is enough, you are loveable, you are smart and you work hard. Don’t let others tell you otherwise and certainly don’t let yourself tell you otherwise. Here’s a good tip to stop negative talk in general that I learned from Terri Savelle Foy: after everything you say, mentally add these words: “- and that’s exactly how I want it.”
Mentally (or even out loud) adding these to what you say, will quickly change everything you say for the better.
There are so many things you could leave behind for a happier you, but starting with these three things will already transform your life in ways you probably couldn’t imagine before. Good luck on your journey and don’t be hard on yourself: it’s okay if it takes you a few tries to succeed, that’s what makes your success worthwhile.